Mary Lou Soutar-Hynes
emigrated from Jamaica to Canada in 1969. A former nun, she now classifies
herself as a poet/educator, and has published one previous collection,
the fires of naming (Seraphim, 2001).
Preceding the four
sections dividing the poems of Travelling Light is one solitary
poem. Titled "writing a life," the last stanza could be read as an aphorism
for Soutar-Hynes' life: "scaffolding life/ no hay camino no road
/ caminante -- se hace one creates it / al andar as one
walks" (9). This is a beautiful poem (though the inclusion of Spanish
terms, given that the official language of Jamaica is English, seems
odd).
The opening poem,
"on atmosphere and sentences," of the first section, titled "the poetry
of hands," has the potential to be an excellent poem, but it is confused.
Here is the first stanza:
a capital offence
from the start writing
a sentence pen-to-paper
fingers-to-keys
only a full stop to close it down
period
e x i t point of bleed
the
length of an arc
along the horizon
a
broken overcast sky (13)
The first thing
the reader notices is the lack of capitalization, then the spacing and
the lack of punctuation--all things indicative of a kinetic poem. But
the flow of the words is more typical of a lyrical poem. Words and phrases
are fragmented, but for no discernible reason. This leads to confusion.
How is the reader to interpret "writing / a sentence"? Is this an enjambment?
If not, is it intended to be two sentence fragments? This problem could
have easily been solved if the left-hand margin had not been so religiously
adhered to. When it isn't, as when "length of an arc" appears, we ask
why? It is as if Soutar-Hynes wanted to liberate her lines but couldn't
quite bring herself to do so. The last line of this poem exemplifies
this problem when she writes "can't trust a word."
Had the article been left with the first part, so that the line read
"can't trust a word," the meaning of the line would have held more ambiguity.
Soutar-Hynes is
capable of very effective kinetic poetry. Examples abound. "panel 1"
of "measure of wings: a triptych" employs the confessional in a powerful
kinetic poem:
released
from the constraints
of convents
she negotiates the abyss
between microns and light-years
following a new
obedience (17)
Note the playfulness
here. The gap following "released" is brilliant. The use of the word
"abyss" is another powerful stroke, carrying with it not only the idea
of gap but the echo of "abbess." In "the topography of weather," she
writes "haze broods over / the river shrouds / the far shore's greying
edge" (22). Here she has finally allowed herself to escape the gravity
of the left edge, engaging in freefall. Because of this, the use of
the three-line stanza form which, at least in part i, employs a complete
clause as its third line, becomes musically quite effective. One of
the strongest poems in the collection, "mother-tongue / in parentheses"
extends her repertoire by creating, in each part, one voice which extols
the virtues of a tropical paradise in travel brochure language while,
sandwiched between, is homage to language:
you speak in coral-white
nights of floodlit
beach where stately palms in stark silhouette
raise chaliced leaves keening to the wind
murmur your mother tongue mourn your
loss (41)
The enjambment
between the second and third stanzas beautifully captures the sense
of regret. Note the use in all of these examples of words that carry
religious overtones--shrouds, chaliced, etc.
Still, in some
instances a more careful editing could have produced a stronger poem.
The first stanza of "starting with Unless by Carol Shields: a
found poem" is a case in point: "the middle of a rambling paragraph
reveals hard cartilage / the rounded snout of crocus
on cold lawn." (47) Both lines would have been stronger without the
word "the."
There are some
exceptional moments in this collection. Soutar-Hynes creates strong
images, with a potential for being much stronger. We await her third
book to see how her writing develops.