Buying Cigarettes for the Dog
by Stuart Ross
Calgary: Freehand Books, 2009, 192 pages, $19.95 paper.


Toronto writer Stuart Ross has long been a fixture on the Canadian literary scene, with numerous chapbooks and poetry collections to his credit. Buying Cigarettes for the Dog is his second book of short stories since 1997. This new collection includes short fiction as well as a novella, all of which present an offbeat view of life.

Written in clear, minimalist prose, the stories consist of less than five pages. A few of them offer irony-laced spoofs on serious issues. In "Me and the Pope," Ross imagines the pontiff as a house guest who overstays his welcome. "Language Lessons . . . with Simon and Marie" pokes fun at a couple attempting to learn English. "The Ape Play" mocks live theatre. Throughout the collection, Ross's keen eye for detail contributes much to the narrative. In "The Suntan," he portrays an elderly man named Albert in pursuit of a woman at a pool.

Albert was a big balding man with a tub for a torso and arms as thick and hairy as a gorilla's, but his bottom half belonged to another, tinier man. His thin white legs poked out of his swimming trunks and reached to the ground, ostriches pecking for food. . . . his knees popped up like tumours in every direction. (34)

A number of stories focus on characters who stray from the norm. In "The President's Cold Legs," the unnamed protagonist helps the president of his country by pushing his wheelchair. "Howie Tosses and Turns" tells of a man who can't sleep because a murderer is sleeping on his living room sofa. "Elliott Goes to School" recounts the story of an armed man invading a school. The title story, "Buying Cigarettes for the Dog," is a bitter rant by a man who lives in a garbage dump.

In Ross's novella "Guided Missiles," Archie Matanza, the hapless protagonist, is a late-night radio host for a call-in show. The narrative rambles on about the disjointed events of Archie's life--the accidental razing of his apartment building, his relationship with a prophet and his infatuation with a neighbour. The story concludes with an unconvincing element of magic realism.

Several pieces towards the end of the collection feel unfinished. Among them are "Mr. Joe," "The Closets of Time" and "So Sue Me, You Talentless F***er." Ditto for the last story "The Engagement," which closes with the assertion, "I speak only to fill the silence--my stories are of no consequence."

Is Ross putting us on here? Is he merely being coy? No doubt, this statement and a few of his stories will leave readers scratching their heads.

Bev Sandell Greenberg is a Winnipeg writer and teacher.

Buy this book at McNally-Robinson Booksellers.


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